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American Ballads and Folk Songs |
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He neither complained nor did he groan, But decided he'd start up a hell of his own, Where he could torment the souls of men Without being shut in a prison pen; So he asked the Lord if He had any sand Left over from making this great land.
The Lord He said, "Yes, I have plenty on hand, But it's away down south on the Rio Grande, And, to tell you the truth, the stuff is so poor I doubt if 'twill do for hell any more." The Devil went down and looked over the truck, And he said if it came as a gift he was stuck, For when he'd examined it carefully and well He decided the place was too dry for a hell.
But the Lord just to get the stuff off His hands He promised the Devil He'd water the land, For he had some old water that was of no use, A regular bog hole that stunk like the deuce. So the grant it was made and the deed it was given j The Lord He returned to His place up in heaven. The Devil soon saw he had everything needed To make up a hell and so he proceeded.
He scattered tarantulas over the roads,
Put thorns on the cactus and horns on the toads,
He sprinkled the sands with millions of ants
So the man that sits down must wear soles on his pants.
He lengthened the horns of the Texas steer,
And added an inch to the jack rabbit's earj
He put water puppies * in all of the lakes,
And under the rocks he put rattlesnakes.
* The word that went here was a corrupt form of ajalote—Texas-Mexican for that wondrous and hideous form of aquatic salamander, so common in the tanks and troughs of West Texas, known as water dog or water puppy.
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